just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
