ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
im on a boat
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