Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
