After last night, I could never be a politician.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
