It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
