he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
