I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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