so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
