Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(708): View more from Illinois

i effin hate jeff goldbloom.

(708): View more from Illinois

but i totally would still bang him

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(928): View more from Arizona

i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now

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(205): View more from Alabama

I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed

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(224): View more from Illinois

so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.

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(440): View more from Ohio

Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.

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(941): View more from Florida

I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.

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(870): View more from Arkansas

You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.

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(206): View more from Washington

The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.

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