is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
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