So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Randomize
