Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
