Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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