he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
We just shotgunned beers for America
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
