and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
