Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
