READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize