Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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