Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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