I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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