sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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