I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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