Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
