the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize