That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
