How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
