You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
