This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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