So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
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