I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize