You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
you inspire me to be a worse person
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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