And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize