i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
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