Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
