And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize
