Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
