I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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