Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize