just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
