She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
