She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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