marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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