you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
sex in a hospital.. check
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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