I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
