he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
