It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
