I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
you guys were way drunker than both of me
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
