Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize
