We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
