fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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