Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
