i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
