the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I think we might need a safe word for this...
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
