I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I love having hate sex.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
