she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
