Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Randomize
