Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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