I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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