Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
