I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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