our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Everyone says I win the strip club
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
