It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
