The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Randomize
