My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
